I Still Sleep When I'm Sad

I was looking over the past posts, and I saw I already used this title.  It's still true though.  This week especially.  This week was difficult.  I slept a lot.
I almost spent time with a friend, but anxiety and panic attacks curbed that desire.  So, I slept.
Other things happened too.  Things where the plans of others changed my plans.  Seems typical nowadays.  I probably shouldn't be bothered by it.  I mean, it is what it is.  So I'm back to starting my financial planning for moving in March all over again.  So I no longer have money set aside for that.  I should be happy that I took care of the important things I put off because I couldn't afford it.  I should be happy that I got caught up on all the past due items.  I should be happy I could do all that before my account was emptied out this week.  I should be, but I'm not because that wasn't my plan.  None of this has gone as planned, and now I'm looking at my future wondering what I have planned.  Well, wondering more why I should even continue to plan.  I mean, if it hasn't gone as planned yet, am I the fool for thinking it ever will?
So I slept.  If anything, I can do that successfully.  It's not constructive.  I don't progress in anything while doing it.  But, it's also not destructive.  It's like a pause.  Sometimes I wake up refreshed and ready to start anew.  Other times the reality that nothing changed is on my mind when I wake up.  And other times, I'm sad I've woken up.
This week was difficult.  I'm starting over again on many different things.  All uphill battles with shorter timeframes, and all repetitive failures beside my plans were different than the plans of others.  I still have to move forward.  I still have to try.  But, first, I sleep.